I don’t understand 

We used to be a great family.  Dad would take me to the park for a while when my sister was first born to make me feel special and show they still loved me even though there was a baby in the house now.  We had family dinners.  Mom and dad used to hug and kiss.

Now all it is is fighting, screaming, yelling.  Dad’s calling mom and my sister cunts.  He’s telling us to get the fuck out of his house.  And then he’s apologizing.

Mom and dad don’t touch any more.

Dad doesn’t eat at the table with us.

He tells me how awful mom is.  How she’s lazy and doesn’t do anything.

Mom tells me the same of course, about dad.  But she has a point.  Even when he was jobless he never helped around the house.  Never did anything.  Just sat in that chair of his and watched tv.  Just because mom is a wooman doesn’t mean she HAS to cook and clean the house every singel fucking day.  I don’t give a fuck that the Bible said.  It was written long ago.  Welcome to 2012 where men can get off their asses and help.  I’ve heard about it being done. 

Mom texted me a minute ago.  She came home from spending the day with me to find her bird on the floor under a blanket.  Dad was just sitting in the living room watching tv.  I guess he left him there for a while.

He spent the day yelling at my sister about how horrible mom is and how he can’t wait for us to move out of his house.

That isn’t what is supposed to happen.  How did this happen?  How can people change like this?  I don’t get it.  I don’t think I believe in true love.  I think it’s why I don’t put myself out there and try to find someone because I’m terrified we’ll turn out like my parents.  If they can’t make it how can I?

Git, mom’s bird, is doing okay.  He’s breathing okay but he seems terrified.  I dont’ blame him.  That was an ass move for dad to make.

My sister keeps mentioning moving out.  Beggs me to find a place and let me move in with her.  Mom asked if I would help if she moved out and found a place for us, just the three of us.

of course I’ll help.  I’ll do anythign to her happy again.  I’ll do anything to see my sister smile and mean it.  I’d do anything for them. 

God I cna’t stop crying